


Acts of Tender Feeling

by You_Light_The_Sky



Category: Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997)
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Fluff, Introspection, Post Advent Children, do not copy to another site, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:40:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25865287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/You_Light_The_Sky/pseuds/You_Light_The_Sky
Summary: Post-AC. Cloud relearns the language of Tifa’s smiles and tries to repay her for what he’s done. Oneshot.
Relationships: Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife
Comments: 16
Kudos: 102





	Acts of Tender Feeling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [guardianbunnie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/guardianbunnie/gifts).



> Thank you so much Bunnie, hope you enjoy!!!!

In that church, where all of Cloud’s marks and geostigma wash off of him, where he’s reborn again, he looks at Tifa, smiling in a way he hasn’t since they last made a home together, and she smiles back.

Her smile tells him that everything will be okay.

Her smile tells him that he’s forgiven.

:

When they were little, before Tifa fell off of a mountain, before her mother died, before Cloud could call her his friend, he used to watch her longingly from his window… playing with her friends. He wanted so much to join them, but he didn’t think they would accept him. He wasn’t brave enough to take Tifa’s hand or her offers to play. He wasn’t brave enough to tell her that he wanted to talk to her more.

But when he looked at her smiling face outside, the one that meant she was just thrilled and living in the moment, enjoying the sensation of running in the wind, he thought that the world would be okay if she kept smiling like that.

:

He forgot how much he hates sleeping alone. Geostigma made Cloud feel like a monster, a cursed being that could spread infection to others with a single touch. His skin was marked by his sins, it was what he deserved. Cloud Strife didn’t get to have a happy ending when Zack Fair, someone so good and strong, worthy of the role of hero, didn’t get one.

Cloud told himself that he was protecting Tifa and Marlene, still good, still untouched by disease. Cloud told himself that the least he could do was try to find Denzel a cure, because Denzel didn’t deserve this, even if Cloud did. He slept alone, ate alone—tasteless canned junk that numbed the memory of Tifa’s cooking—fought and drove alone.

After a while, he tricked himself into thinking that he liked it. Preferred it, maybe.

And he stopped answering his phone, the one reminder that he doesn’t want to be alone.

The only thing Cloud allowed himself was listening to her voice, all of their voices, over and over at night. If he closed his eyes, those nights he slept in Aerith’s church, then he could imagine Tifa lying next to him like she used to for the short time they had, Tifa telling him about her day and scolding him.

The real thing is so much better.

Tifa doesn’t say a word, only holds out her hand like Cloud never left. They should talk about this. There’s so much he has to say to her but as she stands in the dim night’s light, her figure aglow in this soft light that’s almost otherworldly… Cloud never wants to say no.

They settle together in their bed just like they used to before Cloud took off. For a moment, Cloud hesitates. He doesn’t know how to do this anymore, how to be with someone, but Tifa tugs him towards her, laying his head against her shoulder, and he’s hit by her soft smell, hints of vanilla and something floral, always so calming…

His eyes flutter shut as he listens to her heart beat.

:

In the morning, Tifa gives him that smile again, the one at the church, and Cloud’s voice clogs up in his throat. This is his moment now, to apologize, to make things right.

But Tifa just puts a finger against his lips and shakes her head.

“It’s okay, Cloud. It’s all okay now. I understand.”

Her warm-eyes look at him somewhat sadly and Cloud wants to protest. Does she _really_ understand? Does she know how much he feels for her, how it hurt to be away?

But her smiles still have a way of blinding him into silence, and the next thing Cloud knows, Tifa’s getting up to make breakfast…

And he’s left alone again with the lingering scent of her perfume.

:

When Tifa’s mother died, when Tifa eventually woke up from her coma, she tried to talk with Cloud. But all Cloud remember was Mr. Lockhart’s murderous face, the echoes and the blame.

_You almost killed my daughter, you stay away from her!_

He ran from her.

(Cloud will always hate himself for it.)

He thinks she started smiling more sadly after that… her kind pensive smile that hid the depth of grief behind warm-red eyes.

Yeah, Cloud thinks, Tifa definitely started smiling sadly after that.

:

In the weeks that follow after the geostigma incident, Tifa keeps doing that. Smiling. Cloud’s had two years or so trying to study the nuance and pained messages in each smile. Before his geostigma, Tifa was better at opening up to him, telling him all her worries and insecurities. He loved it when she came to him when she was scared or losing courage, he loved being brave for her because she gave him a reason to act that way.

But maybe he’s been relying on her smiles too much. Maybe he’s been away too long because he’s not _sure_ if all her smiles are genuine anymore.

She acts like she’s happy. She wakes up early, does inventory and cleaning, makes breakfast and lunches for the whole family. She beams brighter than the moon when he sits with them all to eat, as if she wasn’t quite expecting it. Tifa runs the bar six days a week except Mondays. She also teaches Marlene and Denzel self-defence and helps them with homework when she gets the time. She does so much, takes care of Cloud’s business calls and welcomes Cloud into her bed to sleep next to her every night.

They haven’t kissed like they used to or done anything else. But Tifa takes it in stride, so close yet so distant.

If she’s tired of him, if she’s angry or sad, Cloud can’t figure it out anymore.

He wishes she would tell him.

:

(But he doesn’t exactly deserve to be her confidante again, does he?)

(No, _no_ , he’s different now. He’s moving forward. He wants to move forward with Tifa. He won’t let himself be dragged down into dark thoughts again.)

(He’s _trying_.)

:

Tifa had so many different kinds of smiles when they went on their journey together, to find Sephiroth, to find out more about the Ancients.

She had her weary smile, when she tried to keep peace within the group (mostly with Yuffie’s antics or Cid’s grouchy mood, Barret always calmed down when he noticed Tifa’s moods.) She had her encouraging smile, when everyone was exhausted and she tried to cheer everyone else with bad jokes and good food. She had her grim smile, when they ran into the sins that Shinra committed and she tried to sharpen the anger within her to something resembling justice.

But the most heartbreaking smile she had, the smile that Cloud will always regret, is the one that she wore when he handed the black materia to Sephiroth, the smile she had when Cloud told her that he was sorry he couldn’t be the Cloud she needed him to be.

It was a smile of a woman who didn’t know how to do anything else.

:

Cloud starts hiring additional employees to take over deliveries so he can spend more time at home. He converts the garage into a handyman repair shop and takes over handling calls to lighten Tifa’s work. When he first suggests this, Tifa looks so pleasantly surprised that Cloud curses himself for not coming up with this solution sooner.

She keeps finding excuses to wander into his shop, making small talk or to bring him tea. They spend hours sometimes losing track of time and just chatting, Cloud teaching Tifa the ropes of how to repair car engines or rewire clocks.

It’s… nice.

He didn’t know he could ever feel this at peace.

But when he reaches out for her hand, just to hold it, just to feel her warmth, she gives him that smile again. And Cloud can’t read her, read the lines hidden in that smile. Cloud can’t decipher if she smiles that way because she loves him still or because she’s covering up her heart.

“Are we…” he pauses, throat dry, palms slack, “are we okay, Tifa?”

She stares at him oddly. “Yeah. We’re always okay.”

“But are we really?” The words tumble out before Cloud can stop them. “We haven’t… we haven’t kissed or even touched each other since… since I left, and I just… if you’re mad, just tell me what I can do to make it better. I _miss_ you, even though you’re here… And I’m just…”

His shoulders slump down.

“I’m sorry,” he lifts his head to stare at those wide red eyes, “I’m so sorry for not telling you why I had to leave, for cutting myself off from you.”

Her breath startles in her throat and something within her eyes melts, that smile is back too, with that _feeling_ that Cloud can’t read—

“Oh, Cloud. I forgave you a long time ago. I understand. I didn’t like it… but I understand… When you got your geostigma… it must have been so painful.”

“But that didn’t give me the right to cut you out like that. Damn it, Teef, just… just let me say _sorry_. Please.”

She pauses, her face unreadable.

Then, she reaches her hand out towards his, thumb smoothing over his knuckles.

“I heard you.”

He stares down at her with a frown.

“I heard you say ‘sorry’ when you went to save Marlene from Kadaj,” her thumb goes over one knuckle, “I heard you say ‘sorry’ when you risked your life to save Denzel and nearly died fighting Sephiroth. Again.” She gives a pained smile. “I hear you _now_ , saying ‘sorry’ when you clean the bathrooms for me without asking, every three hours on the dot, because you read about proper hygiene protocols in a magazine. I hear you saying ‘sorry’ when you take the kids out to the park whenever I need the break. I hear you saying ‘sorry’ when you take the time to read the kids stories despite your later hours. I hear you saying ‘sorry’ when you changed your business around to stay at home, to stay with _me_. I hear you saying ‘sorry’ when you try to wash the dishes before Marlene and Denzel do, when you try to pick up the groceries before I can leave. I hear you saying ‘sorry’ in every act of tender feeling that you have, Cloud Strife. I’ve _always_ heard you.” Her hand closes over his. “I’m just waiting for you to forgive yourself.”

Lips trembling, he turns his palm over to lock their fingers together. Each groove of her palm, each callus and scar, he holds them all in his hand.

“I do.”

The smile she gives him could light an eternal fire in his heart, could power Edge for centuries to come.

“I do, too.”

When their lips meet, slowly exploring and relearning what they’ve missed, Cloud smiles into the kiss with relish.

:

The night under the Highwind, when they thought they would die, when they weren’t sure if the world could be saved, death staring at them from the sky, Cloud held her.

They kissed, explored each other’s bodies, and came to know each other in intimate ways that they never let anyone else see. Cloud kissed every scar on her skin, wishing he could print stars there instead, and Tifa soothed away every tear, whispering love songs against his skin. They were home in each other.

And the smile she gave him was so heartbreakingly beautiful, he had to kiss it away.

:

As they lie together, limbs intertwined in bed, Cloud kissing her hair, he whispers, “I still want to make it up to you, though.”

She huffs against him. “You really don’t have to.”

“I know.” But this is Tifa, who shows her love by taking care of others, who feels listless if she isn’t doing something to take care of the bar or her family and friends. This is Tifa who smiles no matter what, even when she’s tired and sad. This is Tifa who says things with her smiles, who Cloud has to coax to open up with soft kisses and whispers against her hair. She deserves to be courted properly, to be shown the world, to be cherished. “But I want to.”

She frowns. “Cloud, you don’t owe me anything. I just want to see you getting better.”

“I know but…” How to explain? “I… I like this. Taking care of you for a change… Being there for our family. I… I want to do more.”

Shifting in his hold so they’re eye to eye, she studies him carefully. “…You really want to do this? Not because you feel guilty?”

He stares at this woman who has done so much, who hides so much of herself behind smiles, and he knows that he’ll always say, “Yes. I really do.”

With a fond smile, the kind she only gives her friends and family, the kind that still makes his heart flip upside down, she murmurs, “Alright then…. As long as it’s reasonable.”

:

There’s a Tifa-smile that Cloud’s always considered his favourite. When the sky became bright green, the lifestream cradling the planet in its protective hold, when it blocked the meteor from destroying life completely, when the light faded to a glimmer, hazes of green blessing the air, Tifa smiled with relief.

It was a smile that said she was happy to be alive, that she couldn’t believe she was here, that everyone was going to be okay.

They had survived.

That smile practically glowed in the aftermath of meteor fall. She looked celestial, like this untouchable being that Cloud was lucky to be with. She always looked like to him, unbreakable, strong in a way that he strived to be.

But as Cloud tries to get up and make her breakfast, nearly burning the eggs and toast, and Tifa descends to the kitchen, bundled up in too many blanket scarves with an adorable sleepy yawn, hair a mess, he found a new favourite smile of hers.

This one, where she laughs with joy and incredulity, where she kisses him on the cheek for being so sweet.

For that smile, Cloud would do this every day for her.

And when she sees him smiling too, her smile widens even more.


End file.
